


Love is butterflies in stomachs, not flowers in lungs

by justwritingforfun



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Florist Yachi, Hanahaki Disease, Love Confessions, Misunderstandings, OsaYachi Week, Post-Time Skip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:13:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27213241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justwritingforfun/pseuds/justwritingforfun
Summary: beautiful flowers do not deserve to end up on the cold floors of a tiled bathroom
Relationships: Miya Osamu/Yachi Hitoka
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	Love is butterflies in stomachs, not flowers in lungs

“Hey, Yachi. You dropped your flowers.”

Hanamaki sat back down on the couch beside her, reaching forward to wrap his fingers around the cup she laid out for him, not noticing the way she winced at the word. He blew over the drink before taking a sip.

“There were only a few petals so I'm guessing you knew and picked them back up, so I threw those ones out. Hope that's okay.”

Nodding, she stayed quiet, opting to take a sip of her own tea as well.

“So,” He eyed his reflection in the lightly colored liquid, letting himself ponder over the words he was going to say next. “When do you think you’ll be coming back? I love working at the shop, but it’s getting hard by myself. Plus without you there I've told many misleading words about flowers' true meanings.”

Rubbing her thumb along the rim of the mug, she let her lips move in a failed attempt to speak.

_ Until I can bare myself to look at flowers, without the thought of him trailing behind. _

“Yachi?”

“Ah,” She placed her cup down, “I’m not sure. I’m sorry.”

Hanamaki nodded in understanding, he was never one to put his friends well-being aside just to make things easier for himself, though he wished his friend would tell him just why she was missing work at their shop this much.

The fear of him staying on the subject made her uneasy, which led her to change the topic in hopes of him forgetting to question her.

“Are you hungry? I can make us something to eat if you are,”

“I don’t think eating your cooking would help me,”

“It’s not tha-“

“Plus,” Hanamaki smiled as he held up his phone, a couple texts were shown on screen. Upon leaning closer to read, Hitoka felt her stomach drop at the name she dreaded to see.

Osamu. 

“I’ve got food covered for us.” 

She felt her insides twisting like vines at the thought of seeing him, keeping whatever was trying to come up down, the blonde sat back down with a plastered on smile. 

“Oh!”  _ It couldn’t be that bad right? Hanamaki is here. Though, If I tell him I don’t want to see Osamu I’ll have to explain why. I’ll be fine, I'll pull through.  _ “I haven’t seen him since Oikawa-san’s party.”

A curious look was sent her way as she felt Hanamaki’s legs place themselves over her lap. She was always comfortable with that, but right now it made her more tense. Everything around her that made movement or noise was suddenly starting to make her lungs tighten.

“Really? Last month you were stuck to each other like glue. I even thought you were dating for a while,” The lingering flavor of tea was taken from her mouth as the material of petals threatened to fill it. Holding back a cough, she waited for him to finish. “Thought you were ditching me at the shop to be with him!”

He let out a laugh at that, looking to his phone when a petal made its way past her throat and lips, quickly escaping to the drink she had held just below her mouth. Quickly standing up, she startled Hanamaki as his legs dropped without warning.

“I-I’m gonna make more tea.”

“We have a tea pot the-“

“It’s probably gone cold by now, let me just make a new one.”

Before her friend could answer, she had already escaped to the kitchen. Quietly removing them from her throat, she let them fall into the trash, putting some other stuff in after to cover it. She poured the hot water she had boiled into the cup and watched the tears from her face fall alongside the scalding water.

_ It hurts. _

Bringing her hand up to wipe away the droplets, she turned away from the cup to look up at the clock. It was late enough to be able to make an excuse she had work to catch up on, so once he comes it will only be for a little while.

_ What if he finds out?  _

Shaking her head in dismissal of her thoughts, she took the cup up in her hands, lifting it up to her lips.

The nervousness was too much for her, causing her to take uneven breaths as she took a sip of the warm drink. Not expecting her throat to demand a breath of air the liquid went down her airway electing a cough as she put the cup down.

“Ah-“ Hitoka’s fingers reached up to her throat, gripping hopelessly as another wave of flowers followed. She tried to keep them down while simultaneously trying to cough the water out. Quickly rushing to the bathroom she ignored Hanamaki’s worried voice coming after her, too focused on trying to be able to breathe again as she knelt on the bathroom floor letting the tiles get painted with petals that mirrored her love.

_ Horrible, it looked and felt horrible. Is this what love is supposed to-  _

“Yachi!?” Not caring about the mess and dropping his usual humorous demeanor, Hanamaki dropped to his knees, bringing his hand to rub at her back. “What the hell?! Why didn’t you tell me? Are you alright? How long has it been? Should we get you to a-“ 

“No-No it’s okay, it’s okay.”

“It’s not fucking okay, Yachi.” He sighed, looking into her eyes. It made sense now. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t act like that. It’s nowhere near okay though.”

She nodded.

“I know.”

“Then,” He stood up, leaving her by herself for a moment as he stepped out. “If you know,” His voice faded off lightly when reaching the kitchen, sounds of water could be heard along with openings of drawers. Coming back to the bathroom his hands were adorned with cleaning gloves and a glass of water. He held the glass to her as she leaned back down. “Why don’t you get the surgery to remove them?”

She took the glass in her hands, breathing slowly to try not let what just happened repeat.

“I’m afraid.”

His gloved hands reached towards the pedals, shaking his head to dismiss her when he saw the slight embarrassment in her eyes and the way her hands were about to reach out to help him.

“Why?”

Hanamaki brought them up and placed them into the trash bin to the left of him.

“Afraid of what it’s like not to love him.”

The taller one in the room slipped his gloves off after, letting them fall in after the petals. 

“If it’s hurting this much thou-“

“Takahiro, please.”

Hearing the seriousness that laced her tone he let it drop, opting to let his curious side out as she finally drank some water.

“Who is it?” A mumble left her lips as she looked away from him. “Who?”

Light bubbles erupted from the water from how close her lips were to it.

“Osamu.”

“Oh.” Hanamaki suddenly became aware of the sound the clock let out, realizing how long it had been since the man in question said he was on his way over. “God, I’m a dick.” His hand reached up to run through his hair, “How long? Since.. This, not when you started liking him.” 

Before Hitoka could open her mouth to speak, Hanamaki cut her off.

“Wait, wait, wait. Wait. Did you confess? Is that why this is happening? Or did he start dating someone? I’m sure this isn’t an unrequited love betw-“ Seeing his friends reach up to her mouth he stopped talking, lowering his voice down as he looked at her worriedly. “Sorry, I’sorry.”

The sound of her choked breaths filled the room again, yet this time she gripped the edge of the toilet, letting the petals fall out into water. Hanamaki didn’t know what to do, he was fortunate enough to have someone that loved him back, so he wasn’t aware of how to console her. He could only reach out and rub up and down her back, trying to give her some comfort.

Silence filled the room shortly after, nothing but slightly uneven breathing and the sound of his hand going against the fabric on her back filled the room.

“A month ago.”

“A  _ month?!  _ Yachi, you can't do this much longer.” Hanamaki took in a breath. “What made it start?”

She sat back, and wiped away the tears that escaped.

“Oikawa-san's party.”

-

_ “Truth or dare?” _

_ Osamu sighed, leaning a little more beside Hitoka. Turning his head to look over at his brother that had suffered from a previous dare, he didn’t notice the way Hitoka’s eyes looked up at him. _

_ He wasn’t in a mood to be put in the same state as his brother. _

_ “Truth.” _

_ Oikawa clapped just hands together, excited. “I was hoping you’d pick dare but, this is just as good.” His eyes drifted to Osamu and then to the girl that was laying against him, as usual they had been inseparable all night and blind to the love that everyone else could see clearly. Osamu regretted his choice once the next words came past Oikawa’s lips. _

_ “Do you like anyone?” While the blonde looked up curiously to Osamu, Oikawa looked him in the eyes, nodding towards Hitoka. “Anyone here?” _

_ All eyes were on him, they all knew, it was obvious. Painfully obvious. _

_ “Come on Oikawa, do we really have ‘ta play this game? It’s kinda childish.” _

_ “You didn’t think that when you did your dares before.” Oikawa leaned back, “So, go on.” _

_ Osamu's dark eyes pierced into the chestnut haired man, in a threatening or pleading manner. _

_ “Yes.” _

_ “Anyone in this room?” _

_ He swallowed a ball of nervousness, unknowingly causing a flower seed to plant itself in the lungs of the person who he was talking about when he spoke his next words. _

_ “No, No one in this room.” _

_ Osamu could feel everyone’s emotions being directed at him as he lost another chance to possibly confess, yet he didn’t care about those, he only cared about the way Hitoka’s fingers stopped fidgeting with him and she seemed to freeze against him. _

_ He never minded her fidgeting with them, he was used to her wanting to focus on something else whenever they went together. Yet she  _ **_froze._ **

_ “Hitoka?” _

_ His voice was loud,  _ **_overbearing_ ** _ to her. The feeling of his palms and the blanket that surrounded her, the eyes that looked to her and the bright lights above them, the voices of all their friends and street noise outside all suddenly became too overwhelming for her, and Osamu wasn’t going to help her stay grounded this time. _

_ The feeling of her insides splitting apart did not help either. _

_ He doesn’t like me. He likes someone else. _

—

Having moved back to the couch after making sure she was alright, Hanamaki reached for his phone.

“He likes someone else?”

That didn’t seem right. He saw the way Osamu looked at his friend, and Hanamaki knew the look of love in a man's eyes. He wasn’t sure if he should say it. It might have her throw up again.

She nodded slowly, looking curiously as his fingers started typing.

“I’m cancelling, I'll make an excuse.”

“Bu-“

“Yachi, no buts. What’s going to happen now if you see him?” She knew the answer, but she didn’t want to say it out loud. He looked to her after he sent the text, turning off his phone, not too bothered about seeing Osamu’s response. “Promise me, if it gets worse, you’ll get the surgery.”

“I-“

“Yachi Hitoka.”

Her fingers played with her own as nervousness creeped back up on her.

“I don’t want to make a promise i can’t keep…”

He let a deep breath out, he saw her tells and he didn’t want to push her further.

“I’m gonna stay the night, incase you need me.”

“No-no, its okay. You should get back home to Issei, i’ll be alright, trust me.” Hanamaki didn’t look too convinced, after the scene he had witnessed earlier he was extremely weary of leaving her alone. “Takahiro, i'll be fine, i promise.”

“Are-“

“I’m sure..”

Standing up, he reached his hand to her hair, ruffling gently, “Call me if anything’s wrong.” He walked a little away before looking back to her. “I mean it.”

She stood up to follow after him, “I will.” Once saying goodbye and locking her door, Yachi went straight to her shower, hoping to drown out all the other feelings with warm water.

Yet once again, the tiles of the bathroom floor were painted with flowers.

-

Opening up the bag again, Osamu made sure for the seventh time he had actually brought her favorite onigiri flavors, along with fugashi in case her mood was that low. Thought even if it wasn’t she would never turn down the chance to eat her favorite food.  _ Favorite treat, but she eats it enough it could be classified as a normal meal for her. She had quite the sweet tooth. _

He came in front of her door, heart heavy and on his sleeve after not seeing her for over a month. He was well aware she had times where she’d shy away from everyone for a while, but not for this long. Definitely not from him.

He thought she was fine once Hanamaki had invited him over, but the cancellation of plans halted him from checking up on her.

The chef wanted her to be the one to reach out to him, since he didn’t want to push her, but his worries were too large and unsettling to ignore at this point.

Knocking on her door, he waited a few seconds, curious to why there wasn’t the usual ‘I’ll be right there!’ or the pitter-patter of footsteps to follow after it.

After a minute, he knocked again.

“Hitoka?”

Worried, he stepped back and reached his hand up to the door frame, sweeping it across before his fingers came in contact with the key.  _ He’s told her a million times that someone else could just guess where it is, without her telling them. _

Coming in he was met with the sounds of shallow breaths and the sight of the bathroom light on, closing the door he went further in.

“Hi-“ His fingers lost grip on the key he was holding as he saw what was laid in front of him.

_ Hitoka. _

_ Hitoka on the floor. _

**_Unconscious._ **

**_Lilacs, his favorite, littered on the ground with blood dampening the petals._ **

Noticing her chest wasn’t moving to take in air as it should, he took action, not wanting to waste time he didn’t have.

Quickly he crouched down, taking her up carefully in his arms as he rushed to the door, opening it hurriedly before closing it.

_ Is this why she hasn’t been contacting me? Did she not want to worry me?  _

Ignoring a confused neighbor he passed, Osamu started running through the apartment complex, trying to get down to the parking lot and to his car as fast as he could.

_ Who does she love this much, to keep going through this pain for them? How could they let her get like this? _

His own heart cracked at the thought of her being in someone else’s arms, but he wasn’t risking losing her just so he could stop and cry about it. He needed to get her help. He thought of calling an ambulance, but there’s a chance they could take too long. Plus they wouldn’t be able to do the surgery without her consent and signs on some forms.

Clumsily opening the door to the passenger side, he gently put her into the seat, putting her seatbelt on. She was only in shorts and a large tshirt, so he went to lean back to take off his jacket. Leaning back down to her he placed it over her legs for warmth before going to close the move to the other side.

Arms circled around him, not a strong hold, but one to grab his attention.

“Osa-“

“Shh, It’s okay, It’s okay. I’m ‘bringin you to the hospital now. It’ll be okay.”

“Wh-What? Hospital?”

Looking to herself she noticed faint stains of blood on her shirt, no doubt from the horrendous throwing up earlier. Not expecting to pass out, she had hoped it was just a nightmare when she was unconscious. Though seeing Osamu infront of her, with worry swirling around his eyes, she knew it was real and could only guess what Osamu witnessed.

Before he could speak up, she whispered out.

“I’m sorry.”

_ My throat, it hurts. Was it always this hard to talk? To breathe? _

“No-No, Hitoka I'm sorry i didn’t see you ‘strugglin and that i didn’t come to help.”

_ I wouldn’t allow you to. _

Her eyes were closing again, and he took that as a sign to slip out of her arms and go to the driver's seat.

-

5 minutes into the drive, and at a stop light, he looked over to her.

_ She was crying. Quietly breathing in and hands clutching each other as thick tears fell down her cheeks. _

Hitoka opened her mouth, the words she spoke nearly getting lost in her breaths.

“Os-Osamu,” She sniffled, looking a little at him. They were close, yes, unbelievable so. Yet she had never shown him a vulnerable side quite like this before. “Please, c-can we stop I-I-I- I don’t want t-to get the surgery. Pl-Please don’t make me.” His heart was breaking after every syllable came past her lips, he hated seeing her like this. He wanted to hold her and tell her it’s alright, they can go back. Unfortunately, he can’t.

“Hitoka,” He looked ahead, driving a little faster once the light went green. “You  _ can’t  _ go much longer like this. You’ll suffocate, ya know how it goes.”

“B-“

His voice was soft the whole time while speaking, it usually was to her, but this time it was more cautious.

“I can't lose you. Is the person ya love worth that much you wanna risk your life for ‘em?”

_ Yes, you’re worth it. _

She nodded, anxiety growing as she saw the hospital in view.

“I’m sc-scared-“

Subconsciously, he moved one of his hands on hers. Opting to let her fiddle with his fingers out of nervousness, as she usually did. She didn’t though, she only gripped at his hand.

He wanted to join her in the tears, in being scared for her, but he had to stay strong.

“I know, I know you’re scared. It’ll be okay though, I’m here with you.” Hearing her let out a few coughs, he sped up, trying to find a parking space as quick as he could. “It’s okay, It’s okay.”

He didn’t know if he was convincing himself, or her.

Parking in, he felt her grip tighten around his hand. Looking at her, he saw her lips quivering and fingers trembling.

_ I don’t want to do this. I want to love you. _

Hesitating first, he let go of her hand and went to get out of the car, going to her side. Upon opening the door he once again leaned down to carry her, in case she still was weak.

Her arms wrapped around him once more, and Osamu could tell she was trying to muster all the strength she could to keep him there and stay in the chair. He could easily lift her up, but his heart was starting to falter from how broken down she was.

“Toka,” He looked her in the eyes, they were red from crying and still glossed over, no doubt holding tears back as she stared back at Osamu through her blurry vision. “Look me in the eyes, and tell me this person is worth dying for. Is loving them that much to the point yer scared of your feelings getting taken away, good?

She didn’t reply, only letting out a sob as she weakened her grip, a sign to let Osamu take her.

Though once he lifted her up, he heard her choke out.

“Y-Yes.”

He looked back to her and stopped.

“Are they really worth your life?”

“Y-“ 

_ It was so sore to talk. _

_ It’s hard. _

With a distant look on his face, Osamu continued walking forward, waiting for her to answer while not wasting time.

“Y-“ Hitoka raised her voice,  _ loud, _ not so anyone in the lot could hear them, but so Osamu would be able to hear her clearly.

“Yo-You’re more t-than worth it!” 

Wincing at the way it felt and how her voice sounded, her hand went to her throat, as if it would soothe it. She hadn’t noticed the way he stopped and stared at her. His eyes held an emotion she hadn’t seen before, and his voice spoke with an emotion she never wanted to hear from him, despair.

“I’m..I’m worth it..? You- You mean, I did- I did this to you?” Hitoka didn’t know how to respond. She’d thought he’d dismiss the thought of her liking him, not that he’d feel guilty over the state she’s in. “I put you through all this agony?”

He felt sick in his stomach, miserable at the thought that he had put the one he loved through this much.

“I-“ He held her close, tears starting to brim his eyes everytime his brain ran the situation in his head. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry- I- I-“

He took a deep breath and looked into her eyes, he couldn’t do anything else but confess, he needed to help her and he wasn’t going to keep his feelings to himself any longer.

“Hitoka, I love you.”

“A-“

“I’m not saying it because of this situation. I’ve loved you for so long and i can barely stand myself ‘knowin i’ve done this to you, I can’t understand why you haven’t cursed me for bringing this upon you. This past month was miserable without you and the thought that you were ‘sufferin like this makes me want to kick myself for not ‘comin up to you sooner.” Tears were rolling down now, “I’m so sorry. We can get through this, I’ll help ya taking care of your throat the last few days and i-“

“I-I love you.”

_ The weight was still there, but it was becoming easier to breathe. _

The blonde’s tears were falling down her cheeks faster than she could wipe them, sobs coming out as she started smiling.

“I love you- I love you, I love you Osamu-“ Osamu saw her eyes looking that little bit lighter, she tried to grip him tighter but her body was still overly tired. Dimples were showing on her cheeks as she continued, “I can finally say that-“

Osamu found himself smiling too.

“Yes, you can.”

-

After a few moments of talking, they made their way back to the car with Osamu putting her back in the passenger seat and finding relief in how she fell asleep peacefully. He kept his hand on hers while driving, he didn’t want to let her go just yet.

Upon getting back to her apartment, he held his arms around her shoulders keeping Hitoka against his side as his hand went up to the rim of the door, to collect the spare key.

“Ah-“

He looked down to her, and laughed sheepishly.

“The spare key is inside..”

Coughing quietly, her arms stayed around his middle while leaning in to him.

“Takahiro has a key..”

“Okay, I’ll call him.”

_ Once he got there, Hanamaki had the most shit-eating grin on his face realizing the two had found each other and he was right. That was only for a second though, he was quick to give a scolding to his friend for letting it get this bad. _

—

Osamu entered the garden shop that belonged to his partner and her friend. It had been about three weeks now and Hitoka had been feeling a lot better. Which resulted in her feeling able to return to her shop. 

_ She was horrified to have someone come in with a flower that resembled bad fortune, asking if any of the other flowers she owned had the meaning of love. Hanamaki really wasn’t lying. _

The first week after was hard for both of them, Hitoka told him it hurt more with wilted flowers and for Osamu to see her in that state and not be able to be in her place instead, hurt him.

He did all he could to help and she eventually got better, leading to him finally giving her a light- _ very late, and not as big as Hanamaki’s,  _ scolding as well.

She was already near the door, moving a potted plant when he entered. Her eyes drifted to the door, getting ready to greet a new customer before seeing it was her boyfriend.

“Osamu!”

Her smile was brighter than any of the shops, putting the pot down as Osamu came over to her. Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Hey, Toka,” His hand went to her hair after, fingers running through it as he smiled. “How’re you today?”

“I’m feeling great! You?”

“I’m great too, I’m with you.”

Light blush dusted her cheeks, “So what are you here for?”

“Oh,” He looked around lightly, nodding in greeting at Hanamaki who just left the storage room. “Some bright flowers, easy maintenance, I want ‘ta make my apartment a little brighter for when you come to mine.”

“I can go pick some! You know, though, I already like your apartment a lot!”

“Still, I want to make it brighter for you. Do you want me to help you pick?”

She shook her head, “No, No it’s okay.”

“Oh, but, can you make sure there are some ‘forget-me-nots’? I don’t mind if they're not low maintenance.”

_ Those were his new favorite, lilac’s brought a fear to him he couldn’t handle. Ever since I told him the meaning of forget-me-nots, true love, he found them to be his new favorite.  _

Hitoka knew that, as usual, once he got them he would return them to her. 

She nodded to him.

“Of course.”

**Author's Note:**

> crying . hope you all enjoy


End file.
